Mother Theresa
by iLoveTheresa
Summary: Starts at The Proposal. Theresa has a plan...ties into season finale. Ch. 1 is up! Please R&R. Theresa haters, welcome! RM.


Summary-You'll figure it out as you read the story, Theresa haters welcome. During the Proposal.

Disclaimer- We don't own anything, and we don't own Paul either.

A/N- This is Lori and Alex, and we've decided to write a story about our combined love of how much we hate Theresa and make it humorous. Enjoy reading. Done entirely in Theresa's POV, this particular chapter is The Proposal.

Rating- Pg-13 for bad language and Theresa's insanity. lol

Authors- Lori and Alex

On with the story...

Theresa's POV

I woke up and my eyes were practically glued together from the heat. _Damn Chino heat_. But that's not the only thing that felt sticky, my back did as well, and it smelt really bad. I squinted my eyes and I felt a hand around me, a quite muscular hand. I shoved it off, and he stirred and moved off of me. I felt his sticky body off of me and than I realized, it wasn't Eddie; his pointy chin wasn't in the crook of my neck like it was every morning. This chin felt round. _Oh, shit!_ It wasn't Eddie! So who the hell is it than. But before I had a chance to look over, my cell phone started ringing. The noise was quite annoying, and all that liquor came in from last night. I ignored the phone, hoping it would stop ringing, and eventually it did, but it added to my massive headache.

I tried to remember what happened last night and all I remember was little scenes like, going out with all of my friends, than talking to some guy, all of my friends said he was a total hottie, and than dirty dancing with him, and than...that's pretty much it. _Damn! I never hold my liquor well!_ The slimeball from last night had woken up and was giving me a real creepy smile as he woke up as well, but I'm sure he thought it was flattering. Ugh! "Hey Theresa", he finally said. I shot him a fake smile, but he seemed obviously familiar. Why the hell couldn't I remember his name? My cell phone started to ring again, but this time I knew I had to pick up. I wrapped the sheet around me closer, didn't want to give a free show without getting something. _Damn Theresa, now you sound like a prostitute_. I rummaged through the fake Louis Vuitton purse that I got at Chino-Mart for 4 bucks, but it could easily pass off for the real thing, except that it had that ketchup stain at the bottom, _Damn Eddie for not keeping his mouth shut when he eats hamburgers_.

"Hello", I answered yawning.

"Theresa? Baby, I was so worried, I know I came home late last night, but baby, where are you?", Eddie asked.

He sounded hurt, and sorry in a way.

_Yeah, Eddie, you should be sorry, all you ever do is work._ But then I realized that I couldn't say that, I mean look at me, sleeping with someone, other than my finace.

"Oh, I'm at...um, actually the girls decided to have a girl's night, so I joined them", I lied.

He seemed satisfied, "Okay, well, I'm going to Paul's right now".

"Paul?", I asked, somewhat scared, even though I had no idea why.

"Hey sexy momma", the guy from last night called to me in a hoarse whisper.  
  
"Yeah, the guy from work, my friend, 'member he came over for dinner about 2 weeks ago", Eddie explained to me.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, Paul was the one next to me. His hand roamed across my back, but I slapped it off, making a noise.

"What was that?", Eddie asked me.

"Flies, they're all over me", I lied again as I pushed Paul off of me.

"Okay, well, I'll see you when I get back, I took off the day from work so we can spend it together, we haven't had a lot of alone time lately, you know", he said slyly.

"Yeah, I know, listen I gotta go".

"Okay, well I love you", he said sweetly.

"Yeah...", and than I hung up the phone. I could tell he sounded hurt, well we don't get what we always want do we Eddie, just like I don't get any from you, so I go to the next best thing.

"You're Paul!", I stated as I got up and searched for my ripped, leopard print thong and red bra.

"Yeah, and you're sexy", Paul said in a slurring tone. I rolled my eyes, what guy would do to get a piece of ass, well I guess I shouldn't be complaining, I'll do anything either. _Theresa, you're really sounding like a whore now._

"Eddies coming here!", I exclaimed loudly.

"Oh, shit! I'm gonna get my ass kicked!", he told me as he got up and put on his whitey tightys. "Wow! He has a huge...", I stared and then I heard footsteps, _Please, please, please don't be Eddie._ Then I heard the footsteps go past his apartment. Phew!

Paul was already dressed and handed me my faded jeans with the hole in the right back pocket, that was the style now, _show 'em what you got, but not too much_. I frantically looked for my shirt and had to crawl to the floor, my eyes were hurting so bad from last night. Paul sure knew how do it to ya straight up. He threw the fabric at my face.

"Come on!", Paul yelled. I jumped back from surprise, and jerked my head into the doorknob. "OWWW!"

"Come on!", he repeated. "And aren't you like his finace?", he asked me. I glared at him with the other eye that I wasn't cupping.

"Yes, but please don't tell him". Paul said he wouldn't.

"Hey, maybe we can do this again sometime", he asked in a sly way as he picked me up and tried to get a good look at my eye. "No, I don't think so", I answered as I sat up, _Damn thong, givin' me a wedgie._ Then we heard a car pull up and a voice enter the house. I tries to put on my shirt, but my eye was killing me and I couldn't take my hand off of it.

"Get out!", Paul yelled. I gave him a stern look and ran into the hall, trying to get my damn pants on, but Eddie just happend walk in. _Holy shit!_ He was shocked to see me half naked. He looked at me and Paul who was behind me for, a moment. "Theresa! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! It's over! You hoe!" I saw him run to his car without closing Paul's front door. I stood up and got my pants on. I ran out and yelled, "NO! Please come back! I'm sorry!". Eddie looked at me and drove off.

I turned around and saw my green flip flops on the ground and saw the door being closed. I cried silently and got my flip flops. I put them on and started walking home. My feet started to hurt really bad so I looked down. My flip flops were mixed up, on the wrong foot. I groaned.

I told my Mom I was too young to marry, and she said I was right so I should told get a job and start fending for myself. Chino had no jobs, at least none for my age. So, two days later, I put on my faded jeans with the hole in the butt, and tight black tank top which lifted up my boobs. I was sure to get a job now. I got my fake Louis Vuitton purse on with the ketchup stain at the bottom, and the ketchup stain reminded me of Eddie. I didn't cry though, I wanted to be happy, and Eddie couldn't make me happy. Money equals happiness. And than I thought of Ryan. Ryan could make me happy, or at least his wallet could. And he could buy me a real Louis Vuitton bag. I sighed happily. Maybe for once, everything was going to work out. I mean, it's not like him and Marissa got back together, it's been like a month. He never would.

So it was decided, I was going to get a job in Newport. I told mom and she seemed happy I was going to work in such a great community, so I slipped on my black flip flops, slung my ketchup stained fake Louis Vuitton purse over my shoulder, told my mom "Adios", and left in my car.

I was tired of looking in the classifieds, so I wanted to take a short break. I stopped by the beach to get a balboa bar, maybe Ryan would be there, and we could eat one together, just like last time. I was walking on the pier and than I saw Ryan! and...Marissa. _Oh great, the prefect couple!_

They were practically leaning on each other as they talked along the boardwalk.

Marissa was eating a balboa bar, just like me, so I threw mine down; I wanted to be different. Than I saw a flock of pigeons coming to it so I walked away without being noticed and hid behind a bush, since there were barely any people around. I looked as Marissa took another bite of her balboa bar, Ryan probably paid for it. He wasn't supposed to pay for her, he was supposed to pay for me, and buy me a REAL Louis Vuitton bag.

She said something to him, and then they stopped talking, and than he turned to face her said something to her, because the next thing I know, they are touching front to front, nose to nose, and than lips to lips. They started to kiss, and Marissa got all happy as Ryan moved his hand from caressing her face to around her waist. I felt myself tremble with anger. I thought that they broke up!! Why would they get back together again?!

I watched with anger as they continued to kiss softly. I got angrier as I saw the look of their faces. They looked so swee- NO! Hmph! It's Ryan and I!! No one gets over Theresa (Gonzalez?) that quickly.

They continued to kiss as the kisses got longer and harder. Marissa got in front and playfully pushed up againt the wooden rail. Ryan smiled at her seductively.

I can't believe them! Why would Ryan cheat on me. I thought he loved me...we were supposed to be together, doesn't he get it! Why doesn't he get it!? Am I the only sane one?

I saw Ryan's hands play around a little before resting above the waistline of her low rise jeans. He caressed her bare skin and I saw that she giggled. I saw them break from their passionate kisses once in a while to smile. I watched as they murmured things and giggled.

I have never seen him giggle that much! I didn't even know he giggled!

Then there was a little girl who walked up to them and tugged on Ryan's pants. Bless that little girl! I watched as she said something and left. Ryan and Marissa still remained close. She gave him one more kiss, said something, and ran. Ryan smiled widely and ran after her small figure.

I watched with hatred as he caught up with her and picked her up. She rested herself on his chest. I wished so bad that, that was me! Feeling his chest and in his arms!

I slowly followed them, as people who were walking by gave me apologetic looks. _For what,_ I thought? Then I remembered the bruise, it didn't hurt so much anymore, but it did when I touched it. The guy at the last interview actually seemed sorry for me. I told him my abusive ex-boyfriend hit me, I couldn't exactly say I ran into a doorknob.

Ryan walked slowly as he walked to a jeep. Everyone stared but they didn't care. I saw that he opened the passengers seat and set her down and kiss her softly. She hopped in the driver's side and he got in the passengers. I got closer, and people were still giving me apologetic looks, _Damn you people, stop staring!_ I got closer, and hid behind a phone booth that was nearby and could see them perfectly at angle. I saw her lean in and kiss him. But they didn't stop, much to my dismay...they continued and I saw some tounge. I gritted my teeth shut.

Than I saw Ryan whisper something and he got in the back. He laid down as Marissa looked around and did us the courtesy of closing both the doors as she made her way to the backseat. She rolled down her window in the backseat and kissed him. I couldn't see much more after that but I did see the windows steam up. I watched with pure, undeniable hatred! Ryan got on top as she took off his button down tee-shirt and than he sat up a bit. I saw her hands rub his back as he got down. I couldn't believe that they were gonna have sex! She is such a whore!

I watched and I saw the car shake whenever they switch sides. I breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't seem like they were gonna do it. I smiled as I thought how God was still on my side!! I saw hand prints on the windows and I saw how sometimes, their legs would rest on the seat and kept getting tangled in each other. Ugh!

I feel kinda dirty, in like a perverted way but also...ewww! I noticed that the phone booth that i was leaning up against had a fresh piece of bubble gum and it was stuck to my arm, great! Just great! It took me a few minutes to get off, leaving a mark on my arm. It looked nasty. But I couldn't worry about that so I looked up. The windows had cleared up and I noticed how they must have been sleeping or just laying there. I left quietly to plan stuff...  
  
A/N- Thanks for reading everyone, hoped you enjoyed it. Lori and ! Alex !


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